Quotes

One of the first websites I ever found or became fond of was a college guy’s hand-coded personal website. It’s biggest feature was a collection of quotations he’d gathered through his high school and college years that I thought was full of incredible wisdom. This being the late ’90s, it was made up primarily of selections from Sandman comics, John Hughes movies, and the occasional pop song. I still loved it, so here are some that have stuck with me through the years:

“Wake up in the morning and say, ‘I refuse to be a hack,’ and see what happens by the end of the day.”
—Dan Harmon (on being a writer)

“The world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those that feel.”
—Horace Walpole

“Regret is for what you did do, remorse is for wish you had done… I’ve rather a lot of the latter.”
—Christopher Hitchens

“Parents are always more knowledgable than their children, but children are always smarter than their parents.”
—Jonathan Safran Foer Extrememly Loud and Incredibly Close

“Always remember others may hate you, but those who hate you don’t win unless you hate them. And then, you destroy yourself.”
—Richard Nixon (from his farewell speech)

“Don’t waste your time in the locker room looking down vs. looking across… looking down has a foreshortening effect!”
—Sex Nerd Sandra (on penis size)

“My friend said to me, ‘You know what, now that I’ve had a baby, I finally get it — it’s not all about ME anymore.’ …really?  ‘Now’ you get it!? Now it’s not all about YOU, now, but a little thing MADE of you?!?”
—Janeane Garafalo

“Given the choice between a world where anyone can make a difference and change the world, or one where we’re at the mercy of people who are just more important and special than we are, I would choose the former ever time.”
Andrew Hickey

“Because the former allows us to be lazy.”
—Me

“The most solid advice for a writer is this, I think: Try to learn to breathe deeply, really to taste food when you eat, and when you sleep really to sleep. Try as much as possible to be wholly alive with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell. And when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough.”
William Saroyan

 

“Any time you think you have to protect God, then you can be sure you are worshiping an idol.”
—Stanley Hauerwas

“The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.
—Norman Vincent Peale

“‘Inspiration’ is a word used by people who aren’t really doing anything. I go into my office every day that I’m in Brighton and work. Whether I feel like it or not is irrelevant.”
—Nick Cave

“Everybody has got to die, but I have always believed an exception would be made in my case.”
—William Saroyan

“Don’t give up. You’ve still got a couple motherfuckers to prove wrong.”
—found on a bathroom stall

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